Mya’s Human Rescue Network

Our humans are fictional. Shelter animals are not.

Meet the real animals

10 animals waiting right now.

Currently in our care

Illustrated portrait of Gary
Mya’s Human Rescue Network

Gary, 34

Suburban Shorthair · Intake 2026-07-14 · Available

Owns a smoker. Has extremely detailed opinions about the smoker.

  • Returned twice. Both times for "not being a good listener."
  • Food-motivated. Aggressively so.
  • Does not do well around other males at the grill.
  • Housetrained, technically.

Paws Without Borders

$50 of $2,000

5 supporters · Updated Sep 8

Save Gary
Illustrated portrait of Kevin
Mya’s Human Rescue Network

Kevin, 29

Miniature Podcaster · Intake 2026-08-02 · Available

Extremely vocal. Will explain your own opinion back to you.

  • Surrendered by an ex-partner, who described him as "a lot."
  • Requires daily enrichment or becomes destructive to group chats.
  • Has not yet been broken of the phrase "actually, studies show."
  • Crates poorly. Escapes into your DMs.

AZ Weimaraner Rescue

$0 of $600

0 supporters · Updated Sep 18

Save Kevin
Illustrated portrait of Brenda
Mya’s Human Rescue Network

Brenda, 41

Longhaired Van Lifer · Intake 2026-06-30 · Available

Cannot be contained by a lease, a mortgage, or a dinner reservation.

  • Recall is poor. Comes back eventually, usually with a story.
  • Sheds glitter. Everywhere. Permanently.
  • Bonded pair — will not be rehomed without her sourdough starter.
  • Has strong feelings about your water intake.
View intake
Illustrated portrait of Tyler
Mya’s Human Rescue Network

Tyler, 31

Wirehaired Founder · Intake 2026-08-21 · Pending rehabilitation

Pre-revenue. Post-humility. Would love to get your feedback on something.

  • Pivots when startled.
  • Calls every dinner a "working dinner." Does not pay for it.
  • Responds to his name, and to "disruption."
  • Wakes at 4:45 a.m. and needs you to know about it.
View intake
Illustrated portrait of Denise
Mya’s Human Rescue Network

Denise, 52

Spreadsheet Spaniel · Intake 2026-06-11 · Available

Has already made a shared itinerary for your weekend. It has tabs.

  • Color-codes under stress. Also when calm.
  • Will not go on a walk that has not been scheduled.
  • Brought a laminated packing list to intake.
  • Guards the group chat. Do not let it go quiet.
View intake
Illustrated portrait of Jess
Mya’s Human Rescue Network

Jess, 36

Long-Distance Pointer · Intake 2026-07-28 · Available

Will tell you her splits. You did not ask about her splits.

  • Requires two walks a day, minimum, and logs both.
  • Carbo-loads recreationally.
  • Wears a watch that has never once been used to tell the time.
  • Sets up the foam roller in your living room without asking.
View intake
Illustrated portrait of Courtney
Mya’s Human Rescue Network

Courtney, 27

Houseplant Setter · Intake 2026-09-04 · Pending rehabilitation

Has 43 plants. Knows all their names. Does not know yours yet.

  • Cannot walk past a garden center. Physically cannot.
  • Speaks to the fiddle-leaf fig in a voice she does not use with people.
  • Rearranges furniture to follow the light.
  • Surrendered with dependents. All of them need misting.
View intake
Illustrated portrait of Doug
Mya’s Human Rescue Network

Doug, 47

Unfinished Deck Hound · Intake 2026-05-19 · Available

Started a deck in 2019. The deck is doing fine, he says.

  • Owns every tool. Has used several of them.
  • Makes three trips to the hardware store per project, minimum.
  • Says "I could build that" about furniture he will not build.
  • Watches renovation videos at full volume, at 1 a.m.
View intake

Our humans are fictional.
These animals are not.

Every one of them is waiting at a real shelter right now.

Still looking for a human to rescue

See all the animals who need help now

This month’s partner

Los Angeles County Animal Care & Control - Palmdale

Join the Human Rescue Network

New intakes, new animals, and one monthly report on how many humans we rehabilitated.

“I started Bark.Dating because clearly you people cannot be trusted to choose each other without canine supervision.” — Mya, Director